New Fathers Guide to Buying Diapers!

Listen up.

 Congratulations, you’re a father. Where you as nervous as I was when you found out it didn’t come with a manual? Well never fear because I am here. No need to shake in your boots when you hear that baby howl. Follow me and you’ll be ready for any and every eventuality. Now strap on your boots and follow me! FORWARD – HARCH!

 As a father of a newborn baby, there are a few things you must know about and have access to. One of the most important items in your newly issued 782 gear, will be the diaper.

The daiper
The most important peice of equipment is the diaper.

Not just any diaper; the proper diaper. Confused? I will teach you. You will learn. And if you don’t, you will not only fail me, but you will fail that little bundle of joy. And if you think I’m hard on you, you just wait and see what she’s got in store for you. Now tighten your ruck sack and MOVE OUT!

The diaper. If there is any invention in the wide universe of fatherhood worth mentioning, this would be it. They come in many shapes and sizes. Some are reusable, others disposable. We will focus on the former since reusable diapers are not part of my forte.

 As you can see below, diapers are mostly Marine proofed already as they come clearly but sometimes confusingly marked. Lets go over them.


Diapers come in many shapes and sizes.

Most manufacturers will have a “N” designation as well as the 1-6 you see above. In the case of a premature baby, look for “premee” or the “P” designation. Now don’t get confused by the other markings such as; swaddlers, snuggler, or cruzers. That means nothing to you at this point and is really just a gimmick to get you to drain your already strained resources.

 In the eventuality that you run out of diapers, and you will, you will need to make a post-haste trip to the supermarket and as you stare up at that towering brick wall of diapers, you will in no doubt be in awe at the various and assorted brands. Some brands are superior to others, but it’s not always the ones you think. Some people prefer the Brand names. Brand names are not always superior. This will take some trial and error on your part and buying diapers is a lot like buying cars. You’ve got to test drive a few until you find the one your comfortable with.

In a pinch, go for the Huggies. I’ve tried out a few of the off brands, and to tell you the truth, they are lacking in quality and believe me, quality matters in a diaper. Now that’s not to say that off brands cannot make quality diapers. Go to Coscto and check out their brand. Now back to that wall. Move to the Huggies section and stand by.

 Each brand marks their diapers slightly differently. The picture below happens to be the Costco brand. But it will do. If you have a newborn baby, look for that “N” or “n” or even “newborn” diaper marking. If your baby is a few weeks old and has gained a few pounds and has also stretched a little, then either go for the “1” or the “1-2” depending on brand. Frank here, will show you what I mean.


Size 1-2 is reserved for newer babies that are slightly too large for "N" or "Newborn".

Don’t get confused by all the jumble on the packaging. The Gunny understands that there is a lot to look at there, just remember these things are already Marine proofed. Mostly. Reach for the one with the number “1” on it. It’s worth mentioning that the diaper count can also be found on the package, get the one with the amount you think your going to need and hold on to it. See that other number. Frank!

The monkey

Do not be confused by all the pretty pictures on the packaging. Ignore the monkey.

Not that one Frank. There will be no monkeying around! Now show the next one.


This is a weight comparison of the size of your baby, not how much poo it can hold.

 That’s better!

Now I know what your thinking, but that is not how much poop and pee the diaper can hold. Believe me the Gunny has tested it out already. Apparently it’s a comparison between the weight of your baby and the size of the diaper. Your baby can weigh up to fifteen pounds for this particula diaper to fit properly. This is important. Do not ignore it. If you ignore this advice, you will regret it!

Buying diapers can be confusing for the neophyte, but hopefully the Gunny has cleared some things up for you.

Stay tuned for another fascinating article on Marine proofing your baby! Next episode we will go over some of the tools of the trade and discuss what they’re for.

You may return to wasting time watching cute little kittens lick themselves.

That is all.



About gunnymundy
Gunnery Sergeant Mundy, now retired from his exploits in the Marine Corps, has built himself a nice cozy little home somewhere in Idaho. Finding life a little less exciting then he's used too, (he misses the good stuff, like explosions and knife fights) he has taken it upon himself to spruce it up a bit by offering his specialized insights and know-how to the rest of the neophyte's by teaching them how to Marine Proof life. What you may expect! A little humor. A little politics. A little tutorial. A little satire. A little Star Wars and Nutella! Hoorah!

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